Dishevelment: a state in which everything is out of order. Good word.

Your poem played my strings. I go through this all the time. Should I really publish this? I might regret it later, I know so little, and so on. I semi-tone down the stairs.

I felt this way about my financial articles as well. Because I care so little for money, and I’m no financial expert. To me, money are just an evil necessary tool, something I would need to buy myself freedom and time to do more meaningful things.

The ability to release people I love from their slavery. Inflation is also artificially created by people in the shadows, who care little for money as well. People who know it’s just a tool, and who can print what they need anyway.

Religious people, who are trying to redesign the world in their own image. They want us to beg for their new utopia. Or disappear.

Everything is out of order. I’ve been dissecting the Bible with my family for years. Trying to learn more about God. Sometimes I end up with more questions than answers. A universal God would not make necessary regulations that only fit for agricultural societies. Does He give different laws to different people? Why does king David have two fathers? Jesse, and the Ammonite king Nahash? He fights wars for the Ammonites, and goes to pay his respect when Nahash dies. He has sisters through this king as well. It’s just an example.

There are two creation myths, and Paradise is a Persian word. There are obviously other people living outside of Eden, when Kain leaves. If animals, bugs and so on have abilities to fight off preditores only by their appearance, when did this ability occur? We are told that there was no death in Eden, so bugs didn’t need to fight off preditores.

Why is Solomon so wise, when he gets all those wives, and builds idols to their strange gods and places them in the temple?

I won’t go on, but the Bible is obviously not the complete story. It doesn’t make sense to put some incomplete local name lists together and claim that the world is 6000 years old. God is being hidden. People have put their own mark on things.

I cling to my belief in the Trinity, for example, because it is my heritage and my roots, and a foundation to stand on. But God is always being presented to me through layers and filters, by people with their own agendas. It is impossible to know where truth ends and where agenda begins with these filters. So I leave it in God’s hands, and do my best with what I have. I don’t even know if the manuscripts I have access to are the same that were canonised in the 300’s, although a lot of them have been found in quotes from old sources.

This is my semi-tone more than anything, because I am religious at the core. Always have been, even more than family and friends. Ironically, my discovery that the devil is real made me more religious.

Dishevelment is a very good word. Thank you for your poem!