I do wish you and your family well, but I have questions here.

If you truly believe what you are writing, then why do you leave your house and enter stores, when you have positive cases at home?

If you love to research, then why do you claim that there's scientific consensus about all of the issues you write about?

Do you believe that politicians and big media corporations are somehow anointed with the gift of knowing what science to follow?

You have not taken into consideration the enormous amount of "divide and conquer" propaganda you have been exposed to, and in your case it is working extremely well.

You have not taken into consideration, that because of your anxiety issue, you are much more susceptible to this kind of negative propaganda, than if you didn't have these challenges.

You need to look at the VAERS statistics as well, and be aware that using search engines like Google/Chrome, YouTube and Yahoo will give you only the very filtered information.

Try other places, like duckduckgo.com, LBRY.com, BitChute.com and look for real scientists and professionals (not just any self-proclaimed expert) who have been censored from Google and YouTube. It will give you a more balanced picture.

I would recommend starting with Geers Vanden Bossche (an actual interview, not what someone says about him). And move on from there.

Good luck, and don't give up on people. Find your inner strength.